Lazy Environmentalist

I’m a passionate yet lazy environmentalist. I want to do the right thing. I want the planet to be clean. I want to breathe fresh air. I want to not have to hold my breath every time I drive on the New Jersey Turnpike.

I want it to be totally fun, cool and sexy to act in an environmentally responsible way. Otherwise, half the time I won’t do it. I won’t always place my empty water bottles in the recycling bin. Why? Because, frankly, it’s a pain and there’s nothing fun about it.

I want a shower that cleans and filters back through the same five gallons of water repeatedly so I can take a low-impact 30 minute shower and know that I’m not squandering our dwindling supply of fresh water. Frankly, I take long showers. That’s where I do my best thinking. So I want someone to invent this kind of shower for me. I’ll be thrilled to have it and I’ll tell all my friends to get one too.

Give me a hybrid Audi TT so I can put the top down and drive fast without polluting like a maniac. I’ll gladly pay for it. Make me furniture out of bamboo instead of wood so I’m not by extension cutting down trees just to have something nice to eat on. I’ll pay for that too.

Make it so totally easy, fun and attractive to do “the right thing” and I’ll do it every time. Because I care about the planet. I really do. But I’m lazy and I’m not going to change my behavior any time soon. So cater to me. Help me consume more responsibly without having to try. I’ll thank you for it and the planet will too.

-- Josh